Rain
by kilroyactual117
Summary: An AI matrix cannot replicate human sensations. Touch, smell, sound, they're all foreign to a newly human Cortana. Having been freed from the Warden Eternal's control by Blue Team, she wanted to simply resume her partnership with John, but her betrayal cut him deep. Will their partnership recover, or will it become something more? Set post Halo 5.
**AN: Wow! A Johntana story from me? What is going on in this crazy, messed up world** **?**

 **For those of you that have read my previous stories, don't worry, nothing has changed as far as my shipping preferences. I'm still a die hard John/Linda shipper.**

 **This story was written for one of my favorite writers on this site, Ladyreclaimer.**

 **This story was inspired in part by her story _The Glass Cage_. After reading it, I had to write something for this ship, so here it is!**

 **So have fun all you Johntana shippers! I won't hold you any longer.**

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Distraction was a problem John had seldom suffered from in his long life of service in the UNSC. He had always been too busy with assignments to take a moment and let himself take in and be distracted by the world around him.

And besides, distractions were dangerous. The only distraction he had ever allowed himself was Cortana, his protector, his guide, and his friend, and he had lived to regret that.

Years ago such a distraction had been welcome when it had represented a simple, meaningless,relationship with an artificial being, but now as she stood before him in full human form, he couldn't be more annoyed by her presence.

After he had found her on Genesis she had betrayed him, her actions manipulated by The Warden Eternal. Once he had defeated the Warden and freed her from his control she had apologized profusely, claiming that none of it had been her fault, and that she had been manipulated by an ancient, evil being.

He had covered for her in his debriefing, saying that when he found her she had done nothing wrong and had been held captive against her will the entire time, never once giving into the Warden's demands.

Some one the UNSC security council had been skeptical of his account, but combined with his status and his team's backing they had ultimately given in.

Now that she was free he had wanted to be simply happy to have her back, but he couldn't be. The betrayal of her actions, even though they weren't her own, still cut him deep, and the fact that he had lied to his superiors about her actions made him uneasy. She had a power over him that could convince him to betray the UNSC, and that wasn't acceptable.

He knew he shouldn't blame her for something she had no control over, but his trust was not easily gained, and very easily lost.

Still, he couldn't keep her eyes off of her, even as he fought to focus on the piece of his armor he was working on. Something about her still fascinated him, as it had since he had first met her all those years ago.

And all she was doing was standing at a nearby window, staring out at the poring rain outside with fascination...

Occasionally she would close her eyes and listen to soft rhythm of the rain, smiling slightly at the sound. Getting used to her newfound senses was something she still working on, but she seemed to be enjoying every minute of it.

He tried to take his mind off of her, to convince himself he didn't want anything to do with her, but he couldn't. It was better he resolve this distraction now and remove it before it became anything bigger.

He set down the piece of armor and his tools and walked over to stand next to her.

She heard him approach and turned to face him, smiling up at him and meeting his gaze with her bright, azure eyes. She was almost comically short compared to him, a foot and a half shorter at least, but still he felt a bit uncomfortable in her presence as she remembered what she had done him and to his team, but still he tried to show as little discontent as possible.

"Hey Chief," she said, carefully turning to face him.

She shook on her feet, stumbling and catching herself before she tripped. She still hadn't gotten used to using something as arcane as physical legs to move around on, and stumbling and falling were quite common for her as she slowly learned to maintain her balance.

Chief looked at her briefly before returning to gazing blankly out the window, hiding what little expression he had from her.

"Cortana," he replied simply.

Her smile sank a little bit, but didn't vanish.

Chief could tell she knew something was up. How couldn't she?

He had been acting this way since they had been reunited.

Deep down he didn't want Cortana to end up blaming herself for how she had been manipulated, but his own image of her had been manipulated as well, and making head or tails of what he thought of her was difficult to say the least.

 _If she is a superior, I obey her, if she is a member of my squad I aid her, and if she is a threat, I neutralize her, he thought to himself._

Until a few days ago, she had been a threat, and he had failed to neutralize her, and now he didn't know which of those criteria she fit.

Cortana examined him for a moment longer before she just seemed to give up. She let out sigh and rested her forehead against the cool glass of the window, seeming to forget about his disposition for a moment and return to the thrill of being human.

John figured he should say something. He had initiated this interaction after all.

Funny, he almost never felt the urge to say anything to anyone.

"Enjoying yourself?" He asked in an awkward attempt to break her silence.

She laughed slightly as she watched her breath condense against the glass, still not used to the fact that breathing was no longer something she programmed her avatar to simulate, but something that actually occurred in her body with out her knowledge, before peeling her forehead off the window and smiling contentedly at him.

"You have no idea," she said happily, "being human is incredibly stimulating. The sound, the smells, the taste, it's almost... overwhelming."

She slowly moved her head back to the glass, pressing it against the cool surface once again and exhaled another, long breath, watching as it condensed onto the glass in a cloudy fog then faded from existence before her eyes.

"And here I was thinking I was the one with a lot of information to take in."

John simply nodded, fearing whatever he might say would come out as too harsh. His mind saw her as a threat, and if he didn't fight the urges that had been trained into him from birth, he was afraid his instincts would kick in and he would attack her, not physically, but at very least he would say something he would regret.

Cortana shakily turned towards the door and gestured for him to come along.

"Come on Chief, let's go outside," she asked, innocently enough.

She gave him an eager smile. These new sensations of being human had taken any other priorities from her mind and left her with simple, child like fascination.

"Why?" He snapped, a lot more harshly than he would have liked.

Cortana recoiled back slightly at his question, her hand reaching to rub the back of her neck, and instantly John felt guilty for his harsh tone, but it was too late now. The words had already left his mouth.

"Oh," said Cortana, regret and sorrow bleeding through her smiling expression as she remembered the reason for his apprehension.

She realized there was good reason for him not to trust even the simplest things she told him. After all, she had used simple reasoning to lure him into a trap on Genesis.

"It's nothing," she said timidly, "I just wanted to feel the rain. I've heard it can feel quite relaxing."

John didn't relent, and crossed his arms, gazing at her critically.

"Or you could get sick," he deadpanned, "we don't know how your body will react to it's new surroundings. Your body was made by the Warden. You may not even be fully human."

The comment bit Cortana deep.

She had spent years wanting to be human, and now that she was she was being treated as less.

She sighed, dropping her arms dejectedly to her sides and frowning towards the ground.

"Chief, I'm so sorry," she said flatly, "I know I did some horrible things, but I wasn't in control of myself. I didn't want to hurt you or anyone else. I promise."

John's even expression cracked into a frown.

Despite the many mental walls John had tried to build between himself and her, her words still had an effect on him. He was being too harsh on her. She had been through just as much, if not more, in this ordeal than he had. The least he could do was give her the benefit of the doubt.

"Come on Chief, take a girl for a walk," she said hopefully.

John stopped dead for a moment, and then nodded, rationalizing that he was simply trying to examine the extent of her intentions as he allowed her to brace herself against him.

She slowly walked towards the door and gently pushed it open. She let go of John and stood under the overhang that surrounded the building, slipping out of her shoes so that her feet rested on the rough concrete.

The gravely texture of the surface stung her feet for a moment, which had just gotten use to rough, canvas like fabric of UNSC issue boots, but after that moment of discomfort passed she began to soak in the feeling and the texture of the loose asphalt, the corners of her mouth turning up slightly as she let the new sensation permeate her thoughts like a string of code to be analyzed for bugs.

She slowly reached out from under the overhang with one hand, and let a few drops of rain fall into her hand. She hissed at the contact with the cool, soft liquid and jerked her hand away as though she expected it to hurt her. It took her a moment to register that it hadn't. It had actually felt quite pleasant.

John looked at her with concern, fearing she may have been hurt by the foreign contact, but she smiled and waved him off, once again extending her hand out into the soft rainfall. She twisted her hand around, letting the rain soak her arm and watching the water bead up and drop to the ground bellow her.

Slowly she took a step forward, setting her foot, and then slowly moving her whole body to stand under the rain.

As she allowed the soft flow of water to run over her, her eyes slowly closed and she let out a breathless sigh, slowly raising her arms and letting the cool water run down them.

The sensation was something she couldn't have possibly replicated digitally. It was calming, therapeutic, and for a moment, it was all she could focus on as the sensation of calm, cool water somehow made her feel deeply warm inside.

She slowly parted her eyes and found John standing under the overhang before her. Although she could tell he was trying to suppress it, an small, genuine smile rested on the lower half of his face.

It made Cortana very happy. He was probably still quite upset with her, and probably would be for a very long time, but she was glad that they had started to recover some of the inseparable bond that had formed between them.

She was almost embarrassed to admit it, but as an AI she had been fascinated by John. His loyalty, his selflessness, his strength were all abnormal, and she had had a long list of great men and women to compare him to.

As an AI, however, she hadn't had a sex drive, or even a programmed equivalent, so looking on him now she had a whole new kind of fascination with him. Attraction wasn't a concept she had been able to understand as an AI, beyond being able to identify John as attractive, which still hadn't made her necessarily feel anything towards him, but now she very clearly felt something.

He was handsome, that was for sure, and something about her fascination with his mysterious personality finally clicked for her, as though she finally realized why all those years ago she had chosen him.

She felt a slight weakness in her knees as she looked over him. Her breath became short and a gentle blush crossed her face. All these things should have felt awful, but experiencing them made her see them in a whole new and wonderful way.

Now if only she hadn't betrayed John in such a horrible way, maybe he would feel the same way about her.

"Enjoying yourself?" He asked dryly, watching as the rain soaked through her clothes.

She smiled and nodded, fighting off the sadness she felt at what she had done to John, the man she now knew she loved, despite her realization that ultimately, it wasn't her fault.

Her face dipped into a slight frown. She began to feel guilty that she even ha ether opportunity to experience sensations such as these.

"This feels amazing," she said somberly, the rain still running over her, "Why do people hate rain so much?"

John's expression didn't change and betrayed little of how he was feeling. His only response was to cross his arms over his chance and look over her critically.

"It often causes them to contract diseases due to lowered core temperature and the feeling of being continuously wet is generally described as uncomfortable," he deadpanned.

Cortana did not look amused.

"Do you ever lighten up?" She asked, stepping just a bit closer to him.

John shrugged.

"It has never been necessary for me to lighten up."

For a moment, Cortana felt incredibly sad.

It was true, John had never had a reason to lighten up. He had lived his entire life in service to humanity, never taking a moment for himself. He had been doomed to a life of suffering with no break.

However, her sadness began to clear when she saw the incredible opportunity before her.

She had hurt him, sure, but in the past she had consistently been able to bring John back from the metaphorical edge many times, and he needed that now more than ever.

She extended her hand to him and offered him a kind smile, hoping it would help his demeanor.

"Come one John, a little rain won't kill you," she quipped.

At first John hesitated, unsure if he should accept or not, but when Cortana raised an eyebrow indicating a challenge his hand shot out immediately, grasping hers as he plunged headlong into the downpour.

Slowly the rain began to soak his fatigues and his arms slowly uncrossed, dropping to his sides as the water began to flow down him.

However, he still stood at near perfect attention, and Cortana wasn't about to have that. This was about relaxing after all.

She pulled her hand away from his, no easy task given how hard he as gripping it, and placed her hands on his shoulders, smiling at him gently.

"It's alright John. You can relax."

John's eyes locked onto hers. Clearly relaxing around someone he considered to be a threat was in no way a joking matter to him.

They were searching her for any evidence that she might be lying. He had already allowed his guard to drop around her once, and that had ended in disaster for him. Now she was asking him to do the same once again.

What reason did he have to trust her?

Cortana continued to smile gently at him, running her hand over the side of his arm gently and reassuringly while she looked at the ground, ashamed of the angst she had caused him.

"John, I need you to trust me, please," she almost pleaded, "I never wanted to hurt you. I promise."

He didn't move an inch or betray anything, but he could hardly resist her command as she continued to look at him with an expression as honest as the one she currently wore.

"Please John," she pleaded one last time.

John's eyes met hers for only a second longer, making absolutely sure he could trust her, before allowing his eyes to close and his shoulders to slump into a relaxed position.

A peaceful looked crossed over his face as he experienced his first few moments of relaxation in years, his mouth forming into an even line, a welcome change from its usual half frown.

It was rare for anyone to see him like this. The fact that he let her was more than an honor.

Even though she knew that she was supposed to drop her hands from his shoulders now and allow him to have this moment to himself, she was beginning to find that to be extremely hard to do.

Some new found human part of her didn't want to let go of him, and kept her hands securely locked in place on the sides of his arms as she cautiously inched closure to a now completely relaxed John until she was nearly touching her forehead to his chest.

Her hands traveled down his arms and ended up on top of his hands, her fingers cautiously intertwining with his.

She expected John to rip his hands away the moment they touched her's. Physical contact was something he had always hated, but he stayed firmly in place, not moving an inch as the rain continued to flow over him.

She smiled. This just felt right.

This was the first time the two of them had simply been partners in forever. In a way, it seemed just like old times.

Cortana couldn't think of a better time for her to make a heart felt apology.

She got up on her toes and placed her mouth near John's ear, using his unmoving hands for support.

"John," she said quietly, her voice just above a whisper, "I am so sorry. I was supposed to protect you. I failed."

Her gone was somber, and her expression was even sadder. She wanted John to see all of the guilt she felt for having hurt him and so many others that had trusted her.

John's eyes slid open and met hers, a look of sorrow on his face as well.

"We were supposed to protect each other," he said, reciting a familiar line of hers.

She knew that this was John's way of saying she had no need to apologize. He was hurt by her actions, bruised on a level he didn't even know he had, but beneath the walls he had built around himself he didn't blame her, he never had.

As her eyes met his once again she found their pale blue expression was the only thing about his face that portrayed any of the emotion he felt right now, and their piercing gaze brought back that same tightness in her chest she had felt before when seeing him.

It was a feeling that her AI matrix, had she still had such a thing, would have quantified as a spike in adrenaline causing uncomfortable muscle contractions around her sternum, but she knew it to be something entirely different.

This slight tightness in her chest was anything but uncomfortable.

She found herself wrapping her arms around John's neck, an action driven entirely by a new part of her mind that she had yet to concatenate with her old, programing driven logic.

John tensed, once again visibly nervous about what she intended to do, but he didn't back down.

For better or for worse, they were partners once again.

She stood on the tips of her toes, pushing her severely underwhelming balancing skills to their limit, and pressed her lips to his in a quick gesture she had only read about through Internet articles in the past.

She knew that a kiss was supposed to trigger a dopamine release in an organic being's mind driven by their goal of reproduction, and that it was supposed to feel pleasant and be accompanied by other actions to make it more enjoyable, but none of that held a candle to how a kiss really felt.

It didn't last long, maybe a second or too of her lips pressed to his, but the moment they made contact with his the tightness in her chest vanished and was replaced by a contented, relaxed feeling she hadn't felt in her life as an AI or a human being, and when she broke away from him it didn't fade.

She held her arms around his neck tighter and pressed her forehead to his sternum, which was about at her head height.

"You have no idea how long I've wanted to do that," she said softly.

John stood completely frozen for several seconds, trying to process what Cortana had done.

Physical affection was not only foreign to him, but something he thought he was supposed to be averse to. It was something he knew he had been trained to avoid receiving, even from those close to him, because it was distracting. If he let too much of his mind be occupied by thoughts of such things he would lose his focus on the task at hand and undoubtably be killed. How could he possibly let such a thing in? Even from her.

But as her lips met his, he found he couldn't resist enjoying it.

She was his partner, his guide, and his protector, and some deeply human part of him knew that this gesture was a way to show just how much that meant to her.

He blinked, and looked down at the head of raven black hair that sat pressed against his chest, her frail arms locked around his neck securely. Maybe she was holding onto him so tightly because she feared his rejection, but he knew now that he couldn't abandon her.

They needed each other, from the moment they met they had both known that. All those many years ago, she had chosen him, and she had chosen right. He had been the soldier she needed him to be, now he was about to be so much more.

This newly found part of him took over, and he wrapped his arms around her in much the same way she had done to him, and he instantly felt the tension in her body release as she relaxed into his string arms and sighed contentedly.

Neither of them cared about the downpour that had soaked both of them to the bone. Both of them had learned how to truly experience human sensations, and nothing else could get in the way of that.

They stayed like that for what seemed like forever, slowly learning about a torrent of new sensations that threatened to overwhelm their woefully inadequate senses.

She felt John shift and look down at her, his hot breath brushing softly against her sopping wet hair, and even though she couldn't see his face, she imagined him smiling down at her.

"we will protect each other," he deadpanned.

His warm breath hit the top of her head as he spoke. The sensation of it mixed with the cool water that coated her body sent shivers down her spine, and caused her to break into a smile both at the sensation and the comment.

They were no longer two corpses in one grave, but partners, just as they had been, and just as they always would be, and they would explore this new life after conflict together, just as they had before.

It didn't matter that neither of them knew what it was like to have a soul. They would learn together.


End file.
